Feelings & Desires

I am really so very tired. I know that wasn't a great sentence grammatically, and it certainly wasn't the best introductory sentence to this posting, but I really don't care. I'm tired of so many things, like:

1. I'm tired of feeling sick all of the time.
2. I'm tired of the anxiety and depression symptoms.
3. I'm tired of people in general.
4. I'm tired of not having any money.
5. I'm tired of being behind on bills.
6. I'm tired of being tired.
7. I'm tired of feeling like my relationship is falling apart becasue of how ill I have been feeling lately.
8. I'm tired of this messy house.
9. I'm tired of feeling trapped.
10. I'm tired of not having a job.

Next, let's focus on how I'm feeling.... all the subsequent lines will begin with "I feel."

1. I feel sick.
2. I feel tired.
3. I feel anxious and depressed.
4. I feel incredibly betrayed by almost everyone I've ever known. My so called friends have disappeared and I feel I have nowhere to turn and nobody to talk to.
5. I feel angry.
6. I feel emotionally drained.
7. I feel dead inside.
8. I feel hopeless.
9. I feel helpless.
10. I feel like I'm never going to be truly happy.

I don't want to feel any of this anymore, but I just don't know what to do. I've fallen back into the deep depths of depression, but this time it's more; it has come with more painful symptoms, including daily anxiety attacks. But nobody will listen. It's as if they don't care, because I can't get anyone to help me, no matter what I say, or how I react, or how terribly frightening the anxiety attacks are, they still refuse to help. People just don't understand, and I'm tired of trying to make them understand.